How do I set up / patch ColorSource PARs with the element?

I'll try to help. First thing to know is your software version. You can find it when you start up Element abd when it's running press About. The most recent one would be 2.2.1.9.0.13
Report here what the version is and we'll take it from there

I can't currently check my version, but I doubt It's been updated at all since like three years ago. Is an update necessary to work the LEDs?

Not necessary to work LED as such, but besides several new functions you're depending on fixture definitions. They're like a recipe for the console that tells it how to control the student properties of a fixture. The color source par is quite new, so your console doesn't have this recipe yet.
there are updates for the fixture definitions, but they depend on the latest software. So that would be the first step.

I strongly recommend doing a software update, but if that is impossible, in theory you can patch the Colorsource par as a Generic IRGBS which should be on your console, it won't be perfect and the colors won't be calibrated, but it will work. Again, there have been so many developments in the last three years that I would very strongly recommend updating.

The update is a free download off of ETC's website and it should take less than ten minutes.

Mentioning color calibration, I have a related question. (mudball12, that's a visual reference that helps set different kinds of fixtures to the same color.)

I recently worked with some CSpars (in v2.2.0.9) and noticed that they aren't calibrated.

Does any know if they should be, or will be soon?

once I download the update off of the website, how do I install it to the console?

Oh, nvm I found it online. One question though, If I copy a .exe file to a USB drive from a mac computer, will the file still work? It won't open on the mac, but does it still work in the console, or do I need a PC?

that will work fine. you download a zip, which contains the exe. copy the exe to the root directory of the USB drive (i.e. not in sub directories). before you update, please read the release notes, which are available from the same page where you downloaded the new software. it will list all major changes. there are new functions and depending on how old your element is, you will even get new keycaps :)
when you start the Element you will see a countdown at some point. click on the counting number, insert your USB drive, click on Setup, General, Software Update. you will be presented with a list of all available installers and you should see the one on your USB drive. select it and click Install. the file will copy and an installer will start that guides you through the process. after the installation your console will re-start and is ready after that.
i suggest a day or two off after the update to play around and find out about the new functions. there are also release videos on ETC's youtube channel that explain some of the bigger changes.

Great! What's the next step?

play with the new functions... and if you don't have the appropriate keycaps yet, order them:
is there a button called "Shift" next to "Time", is there a button called "Browser" or do you have "Displays", and do your keys have a flat top or a curved one, rising toward the edges?

Sure, but this is a high school theater and school just got out. I'll make sure to do all of that when I get back, but for the time being I can't, and I need to learn how to set up the CSPARs. Can you help with that?

Great, that's the part I know about, thank you so much. All of that is after I hang the fixtures, connect them via DMX B, and connect them to a power source, but is there anything else I have to do with the fixtures before I patch them?

You'll need to give them all DMX addresses that don't overlap.

Each CSPar uses 5 DMX addresses, so you could the first one to "1", the second to "6" etc.

Ok, the answer I was looking for, and a Portal reference? Thanks dude.